Dude, seriously, how many years did it take the Food Network to realize that Emeril Live is a total bust, attracting the NASCAR wifey crowd (or even worse, Sandra Lee devotees…blech).

Watching Emeril Live makes me feel so uncomfortable. I feel like the audience never knows when the appropriate time is to holler at Emeril besides the usual alcohol-spiking, BAM-yelling, pork fat-rendering or garlic-smashing. There’s always one guy in every show that calls out at the completely wrong time (once someone said “Aww Yeeah!” when Emeril added celery into a pot of stock…nothing exciting about celery…). I also feel sorry for the guests that sit at the front with Emeril, on a little stool on stage. I mean, who are these people? I can’t imagine who these middle aged couples are, and why they’d want to be that close to Emeril. Were the show tickets anniversary gifts? Did their credit card companies award the seats to them? Are they friends?

So many questions, but I guess I can unclench my ass now that Emeril Live has been nipped in the bud.